they dismissed me from jury duty and i went to job lot and the dollar tree and now i’m just sitting at home feeling sad and i don’t want to go teach because i’m a shitty person or w/e so i’m going to just take ozzy and go for a drive somewhere??
tomorrow i have jury duty
and weds school and pottery club
and thursday school and catching up with an old friend
and friday school and going to worcester to annie’s
and saturday portland with anne
and sunday?? i get to rest??
today was going fine and wasn’t stupid but now i’m in such a bad mood like it’s things and people that make me hate teaching. like honestly i just don’t feel like i care enough to be a teacher. sometimes i feel like i’m telling myself i like teaching and then i’m sitting here like?? what the hell am i doing?? i just will never feel comfortable with teaching and i don’t know how people do. i honestly feel like my students are doing the work and all but they’re still not there//listening and i’m just like???? but idk it’s probably because i suck but oh my god i’m in such a bad mood right now and honestly i wish that other teachers would stop asking me how i’m doing like … my mother passed away and i’m just trying to teach art now get the fuck away from me// i don’t want to make friends with you either i honestly just want to teach and go home//
i just feel dumb because i feel like i have maybe 4 students that i actually care about and want to teach//work with and i just don’t like this teaching in public school thing and i want to scream and run away and move back to maine //
things are just rubbing me the wrong way and i want to curl up and die//